Question of the Day

The question of the day is: Have you ever experienced God's love being "poured out"?

The answer: Every single day of this phase in my life. And certainly at other times in my life, but most significantly, now. Not a day goes by that I do not know that my Heavenly Father is upholding me. As I sat here and thought this through, I found myself telling God how much I truly do hate this situation. And why do I hate it? I have never been closer to God or relied on Him more. I have never really felt this much at ease. I know, it sounds weird even as I type it. Maybe the reason I hate it so much is that it is going against all I have ever known. Yeah, that's it. I have never been in this situation and I "know" that this is wrong. Not that we are doing anything wrong, but this is not how we are supposed to live, right? And the more I think about it, the more I see God's love for me (having trouble seeing through the tears at the moment). Despite not having a job, we have not been in need. We have not even suffered. In fact, we have been blessed. This has me shaken to my core. God is taking care of everything. I know we aren't - we can't. So why do I want to leave here? Beats me. It doesn't seem practical. I am using human reasoning and logic to try and explain something that is far beyond human understanding. GOD LOVES ME!! He loves me more than I could even imagine. He knows each of my days before they come. He knows the plan He has for me (and my family). I have no other choice but to humbly, obediently submit to His will. I would want nothing less. Oh, to be in a place seen by the world as the "bottom", yet feel like I am on top. Why do I want this to change? Why is it that I see a job as the "summit"? What we are striving for? (Am I sounding like Paul to anyone else? I can barely understand what I am writing.)

I want a job for many reasons and I guess I need to list them to get them off my chest.
1. The paycheck
2. Insurance benefits
3. Greg's self worth
4. Normalcy?

Let's think that one through. Normalcy. What exactly does that mean? I can't put my finger on it but I know one thing for sure. Normalcy ALWAYS changes. And the more change I go through, the less pain there is in it. So what I want is this: The job situation to change from no job to the job God has for Greg AND my relationship with the Lord to change from the awesomeness that it is now to even greater than that. Is that asking too much? God is my center. He is my everything. That I never want that to change. Ever. All I am asking for is THE job. Personally, I would like it to come after the 10th of October and before the 31st of October, 2010, and that it is in Michigan (so that we do not have to move again). But I would never dare to presume that He should work on my timetable.

He is the Infinite One. I am finite.
He is the Powerful One. I am weak.
He is the Majestic One. I am a servant.
He is the Eternal One. I am a vapor.
He is my Savior. I need to be saved.
He is My Father. I am His daughter.
He loves me. I love Him.