Thursday, September 30, 2010

Question of the Day

The question of the day is: Have you ever experienced God's love being "poured out"?

The answer: Every single day of this phase in my life. And certainly at other times in my life, but most significantly, now. Not a day goes by that I do not know that my Heavenly Father is upholding me. As I sat here and thought this through, I found myself telling God how much I truly do hate this situation. And why do I hate it? I have never been closer to God or relied on Him more. I have never really felt this much at ease. I know, it sounds weird even as I type it. Maybe the reason I hate it so much is that it is going against all I have ever known. Yeah, that's it. I have never been in this situation and I "know" that this is wrong. Not that we are doing anything wrong, but this is not how we are supposed to live, right? And the more I think about it, the more I see God's love for me (having trouble seeing through the tears at the moment). Despite not having a job, we have not been in need. We have not even suffered. In fact, we have been blessed. This has me shaken to my core. God is taking care of everything. I know we aren't - we can't. So why do I want to leave here? Beats me. It doesn't seem practical. I am using human reasoning and logic to try and explain something that is far beyond human understanding. GOD LOVES ME!! He loves me more than I could even imagine. He knows each of my days before they come. He knows the plan He has for me (and my family). I have no other choice but to humbly, obediently submit to His will. I would want nothing less. Oh, to be in a place seen by the world as the "bottom", yet feel like I am on top. Why do I want this to change? Why is it that I see a job as the "summit"? What we are striving for? (Am I sounding like Paul to anyone else? I can barely understand what I am writing.)

I want a job for many reasons and I guess I need to list them to get them off my chest.
1. The paycheck
2. Insurance benefits
3. Greg's self worth
4. Normalcy?

Let's think that one through. Normalcy. What exactly does that mean? I can't put my finger on it but I know one thing for sure. Normalcy ALWAYS changes. And the more change I go through, the less pain there is in it. So what I want is this: The job situation to change from no job to the job God has for Greg AND my relationship with the Lord to change from the awesomeness that it is now to even greater than that. Is that asking too much? God is my center. He is my everything. That I never want that to change. Ever. All I am asking for is THE job. Personally, I would like it to come after the 10th of October and before the 31st of October, 2010, and that it is in Michigan (so that we do not have to move again). But I would never dare to presume that He should work on my timetable.

He is the Infinite One. I am finite.
He is the Powerful One. I am weak.
He is the Majestic One. I am a servant.
He is the Eternal One. I am a vapor.
He is my Savior. I need to be saved.
He is My Father. I am His daughter.
He loves me. I love Him.

Monday, September 27, 2010


I am stunned. Where to begin?

This morning I was praying. I was asking God to help me to come out of my comfort zone and to be willing to be used by Him. I was praying for someone to come along side of. Fast forward to 2pm, when I was supposed to leave to go to Chicago with my mom to pick up my grandma (who has been in and out of the hospital). As I pulled into my mom's driveway, she got a phone call saying that my grandma was going to have to stay for another week. Darn it. I was so looking forward to my mini-vacation (overnight to Chicago with mom, grandma and great-aunts). Instead I decided to go to my Bible study (which I would have missed if I went to Chicago). I got there on-time, but everyone else was late. Finally they all got there and we were standing in line. 3 of us in front, someone on the phone in the middle and 2 of us behind. I placed my order and then my friend asked the person behind us if she was in a hurry (because she was on the phone). That prompted me to look at this person. As soon as I saw her, I knew I knew her. But I could not figure out from where. In fact, I probably seemed scary to her because I would not drop it. And that is not my normal nature in public. I asked her if she wanted to join us and she said (to my surprise) yes! We stood around her and she was telling us about some things that are happening in her life, in her neighborhood and she is beyond frustrated - and rightly so. We prayed with her and invited her to join our study. Then it hit me! I knew her from our old subdivision. I had met her once when I was out walking. She had a bunch of puppies and my kids stopped to play with them. She said she had to do some shopping (we meet in the Starbuck's in Target), but that she would come back. And praise God! She did. We talked with her some more, it was so cool how God orchestrated this whole thing. Oh my goodness. Because of the group I was with, we were able to present her with the gospel message. I have a friend that is real good with that. We encouraged her to pray - for strength, for courage for her son, for changed hearts (both hers and her neighbors). We talked at great length with her and it was so exciting to see how God used this study, these people on this day to reach out to the hurting heart of one of His precious creations. Oh God in Heaven, how I worship You even now as I sit here and type. There is none greater than You. You are a matchless King, worthy of everything that I am. Thank you for letting me be a part of this. I know that this is all You. All glory to You forever, but thank you for letting me witness this, partake in this. What a glorious experience for me. Praise You and You alone!!!!

I am thrilled to see what comes of this. I am so excited to have met a new friend. I am so glad that God forced me out of my comfort zone. Not to me, O Lord but to You be the glory. Please don't let this sound like boasting, except that I am boasting in You, God of Heaven. I am out of my skin excited to have been there!!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Picture Updates

Jadyn's First Day of Preschool

Outside of School

The girl's beds have been in bunk beds. However, they have not used the top bunk - ever. They sleep together in a twin bed every night. I was making them make their beds today (a rare occurrence) and Grace asked if they beds could be on the floor like the boys. So we took the beds down and now they each have their own bed. The problem - they are so used to sleeping together that we had to push the beds together, so they can be close.

As soon as Jacob saw the girls' beds together, he immediately had to have Grant and his beds pushed together. This is going to be difficult.

Typical Jadyn.

Absolutely Grant.

Another of the various ways the girls sleep.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Jadyn and Her Boyfriend

I have already mentioned Jadyn's boyfriend, I'm sure. But on Friday, when I went to pick her up she asked me if she and Kenton could have a sleepover. I was totally taken by surprise. I said no way - not now, not ever. Then I had to back-pedal and say that they could have a playdate instead.

Yesterday when I went to pick her up, the teacher asked me if I knew about the bracelet. I had no idea what she was talking about. Kenton's mom was standing there and she told me that Jadyn had given Kenton a "silly band" that said LOVE. Man, this girl......I don't even know what to say. Then the teacher told me that the 2 of them initiated this relationship all on their own. That they play together, sit next together on the blue mat, sit next to each other for snack. They are ALWAYS together, but they are good together. Wow.

Lunch Lady No More

For the last week or so, I have been terrified (or at least felt that way). Terrified about starting a new job. Last night at about 10pm or so, Greg randomly said, "You shouldn't be working. The timing is wrong." Oh, geez, did that mess with me. I was supposed to start in the morning. Then he tongue-lashed me about how I always jump into things without thinking. Then he stopped. So, I was laying in bed and praying, asking the Lord what I was supposed to do. Then Greg started again. Telling me it was not worth all the hassle to everyone, for me to have this job that didn't make any money. Ouch. His words were hurting, but they were speaking the truth. So I continued praying. A few minutes later, he started again. Reminding me that I wanted to raise my children, not have someone else do it. OK - OK, I get the point. But now I couldn't sleep because I was feeling sick about quitting a job (that I wanted 3 years from now) that I had not even started yet. I got up (because Greg made me because I was just flip-flopping around in the bed keeping him awake). I came out, prayed again, then called my mom. She only said she agreed that I should be home with my kids. Then I called Abby. She prayed with me and encouraged me. I knew what I had to do, but I did not like it.

This morning I was up at 6am. Showered and ready to go to the school to "face the music". I prayed all the way and took my devotions to do while I sat in the parking lot and waited for someone to show up. I saw a car pull in the other side of the parking lot, so I drove over there. It ended up being the main "lunch boss". I called out to here and we had the conversation in the parking lot. I told her I felt terrible to quit before I started, but I felt I had to be home with my babies. She told me that unless I had to be there, I should be home with them. I said that when they are in school I want to be able to come back - I do not want to burn this bridge. She advised me it would be OK. Thank you Lord for Your Heavenly orchestration of this scary confrontation for me.

Then in the car on the way home, I started telling myself that I was a slacker. Almost as soon as I said that, a fight broke out between the devil and me. I said I was not a slacker, I was first and foremost, a mama, and my biggest responsibility was to my husband and kids. That is where God placed me, that is the job He has given me and that is what I am going to do.

I still feel a little bad, but when Jadyn and Grant (and Grace) were all snuggling together on my lap, arguing over whose "mama" I was, I knew I had made the right choice. Good thing I have a persistent husband who is not afraid to call me out and tell me I am rash and always in a hurry. Thank you Lord for him. And thank you Lord for Your reassurance.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Pet Drama

I do not like animals. I mean, it is not like I hate all creatures (some for sure), but I am not an animal aficionado. I do not choose pets. Last night I was painting Grace's nails and she was telling me about her friend that has a guinea pig that she wants to give away FREE. Grace was asking for it. Of course, I said no. Then Grace proceeded to ask me, "If we had a guinea pig, where would we keep it?" I (errantly) said "in the woods". Oh my gosh....what you would have thought I said was "I would step on it's head and grind it into the ground." Grace started bawling....really heavy bawling. Between sobs, she said "How would you feel if you were a guinea pig and someone wanted to keep you in the woods, where something could eat you? Huh, how would you feel? Mom, what if Jadyn was a dog and you said that we had to keep her in the woods? How do you think she would feel? Terrible, I tell you, she would feel terrible." Honestly, this was exactly what she was saying. I couldn't make this kind of stuff up. It was extremely hard for me not to laugh my head off. Because on one hand it was really funny. But on the other hand, it made me sad that I thought it was funny. Because the truth is that she loves animals and really wants one. Her heart is so full of love - for everyone and everything.

In the midst of all the animal drama and sobbing, the phone rang. Greg answered it and as soon as he said hello, Jadyn asked, "Is it my boyfriend?" I was almost crying I was laughing so hard. She really does have a "boy-friend". His name is Kenton and he is in her preschool class. They play together everyday and when I talked to his mom yesterday I learned that he talks about her like she talks about him. It is cute, but then it makes you wonder - is this the start of something we are not interested in? A boy-crazy daughter?

Then Grant was standing next to me and he picked up my Our Daily Bread devotional. He opened it (upside-down) and started yelling "Donalds! Donalds!" One of the devotions started with a "w", which when read upside-down looks like a "golden arch."

And through this whole thing, Jacob lay on the couch playing his DS, oblivious. Yep.

I love my children. They are such a tremendous source of laughter and joy to me.

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Desire of My Heart

I was editing for the Master's Plan this morning and something jumped out and bit me in the nose. It said, "YOU HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOU ASK NOT!" And yes, it was all capitals and bold like that. Then my mind went to my DBV, in which the commentary talked about praying in a raw and honest way - not sanitized. Basically, not just praying what you think you are supposed to, but rather telling God EXACTLY what is on your heart. He knows anyway, so why not just tell Him and get it off your chest.

So....I stood in my garage (I am having a garage sale) and did this very thing. I told God I was looking for a job for Greg. But not just any job - THE job. The one He has planned for Greg. I told Him I knew nothing about the specifics of the job and its responsibilities, but that this was between him and Greg. I wanted a job where Greg was happy and looked forward to going to work every day. I wanted a job where Greg was a valuable asset to the company and where he could help make a difference in that company. I wanted a good paying job, with great benefits. I wanted it to be flexible so that he could be around for "stuff". And then added, at the end, that I wanted him to have at least 3 weeks of vacation. Doesn't sound like much, right? Actually I felt a little bad asking for it this way, but I had not because I asked not. Before you go thinking that I am thinking that God is my genie (which He is not and I would never think He was), I was just pouring out the desires of MY heart. The first of which is that whatever and wherever the job.....we would be in the exact center of God's will. THAT is the most important to me.

Greg came home from his second interview with this company and said that they wanted him to interview with one more person (in Norway). They were going to try and arrange the call promptly. They were eager to move ahead (and so was Greg). After a phone call, Greg came to me and told me some of the information that was relayed to him. Basically, the salary, the benefits, the stuff. We were sitting in the garage (again the sale) and I was bawling. Everything he was telling me was lining up with EXACTLY what I prayed this morning. I was even feeling sick. Sick, mostly because I am so not worthy. Even if nothing comes from this, just to know that God is ALWAYS there and ALWAYS listening to me. Even if what I am saying is totally ridiculous. I am so excited that He heard the desires of my heart. I will be even more excited if these line up with His plan. We will see. The interview is supposed to be Monday or Tuesday.

O Father, if this is Your will - thank you! If it is not, please help me to always see that Your will is greater, better and perfect. I pray that no matter the situation, we will be good stewards of ALL that you have entrusted to us. Not to us, but to You alone be all the glory - forever. Praise Your Holy Name!!!!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

So It's Been Awhile

I have limited access to the computer as Greg is using it to find a job, so I haven't been able to post much. Here's what new:

Last night I was talking to my kids about a boy who died in a car accident. Jacob told me, "I do not want to drive until I am FULLY TRAINED, like you, Mom." Fully trained? That kind of wording I would expect from Grace, but not Jacob.

My mom brought a kid's guitar over to my house for a garage sale I was having. From the minute it came out of her car, Grant had it and would not put it down. Over the last couple of days, it has made it into the house, and for whatever reason, Grant keeps pushing the SAME BUTTON. Oh, man, is that song getting annoying. BUT.....I really listened to the words this morning.

"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, it's going to be OK"
I love how God is using my 2 year old and this annoying guitar to remind us that He is there and taking care of EVERYTHING. We do not need to be afraid. So cool!

Greg has a second interview tomorrow. He is excited about this one. I have no real feeling. And...he had another really good phone interview this afternoon. It has been a very busy week for Greg. Some weeks are like this and some weeks are dead, but no matter what we praise the Lord and carry on.

Nest week I start my "lunch lady" training. I even bought scrubs to wear while working. I am very nervous. Not so much about the actual work, but more about having a job. But I am very thankful.

Today I went and helped my mom, my aunt and my great aunt move my grandma's stuff into her new house. We worked sort of hard, but had a good time together. I really enjoyed myself.

That's about it for now. Talk to you later.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Hook and Eye Locked Out

Totally forgot to tell you about our morning yesterday. Grace was telling me all morning that she was going to throw up. Then we went to the garage to get our shoes on. I turned around to come back in and the screen door was locked!! The lock on the screen door is a hook and eye lock! I could not even believe it. I had to pry the bottom corner of the door open and have Grace crawl through and unlock the door. Good thing she was so skinny. It was totally crazy - how the stinking thing could have locked without assistance.

Good Morning, Jacob

Greg and I were sitting downstairs this morning reading, when Jacob came downstairs. He stood next to Greg and said: "Dad, you were wrong. Meijers won't buy my Nerf guns." Greg said, "What?" Jacob said, "because you have a garage sale yesterday." HUH???? We did not have a garage sale and we never talked about Nerf guns or Meijer. Greg asked Jacob to sit with him, but Jacob said he had to go to the bathroom. Once he came back, he was fully awake, but I do not think that when he came down he was awake. Weird.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

To Be a Witness

Praying, reading and thinking this morning. I want to be out-spoken for the Lord. I have so many precious people in my life that need Jesus and I want to be able to tell them, but sometimes I feel that my "head knowledge" is not enough (and it really isn't). "heart knowledge" is HUGE. What I was thinking about was our current situation. Anyone who knows Michelle (me), knows that she is somewhat of a control freak and likes to have order and predictability. My life now has none of this. And yet I am carrying on like nothing has changed. Oh yeah things have changed and I have noticed but God is carrying me through this. I know I have already posted all this, but hear me out. The very fact that I am not a mushy puddle of goo, rocking on the floor speaks volumes to this. If God was not physically carrying me (and He is), I could not do a single day. But I am not afraid, not worried, not concerned. I know that God has a plan to take care of us and until that plan is revealed we will keep on carrying on. Greg is daily searching, networking, trying hard to find a job. He has had interviews and he has had rejections. I look at each of these as protection. It is so weird, but I feel that God is protecting us (by rejections) until the right job comes along. I am more content waiting for the right job, than I am in a hurry to just get a job. So we continue to wait and trust God's hand in all of this. It is my sincere prayer that, if you are reading this, you see that all I am and have is because of God in my life. Oh, that doesn't mean I have "stuff" because of God - rather it means I have peace that passes all understanding, hope of a future, protection of my Heavenly Father, and grace that I certainly do not deserve. If you want to talk to me about this, please do. I would welcome the opportunity to tell you about my Lord Jesus.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

First Day of School (2010-2011)

Jacob - 3rd grade - Ms. Safford
Grace - 2nd grade - Mrs. Reck (the same one as kindergarten)

Can you tell WHO does not care one lick about school? If you said are wrong!!

You can't even tell Grace has a stomach ache. Well....she does. Even though she told me she wouldn't.

Can't wait for her turn....just can't wait.

This morning Grace whispered to me that even though her stomach hurt, she was not going to tell her teacher or go to the office. She was going to be tough. The whole morning she did not cry, but when it was almost time for her to go to her class, she started to tear up. She was concerned because she did not know whether she was supposed to go to her locker first or her classroom. I told her not to worry - her teacher would be waiting by the door and she would tell Grace what to do first. She seemed OK with that.

When I picked her up, she was so happy and excited. Praise the Lord!!!! This is a real answer to prayer - the last 2 years have been riddled with tears and throwing up. She couldn't wait to get her homework done. In fact, she has everything done and it isn't due until Friday. So proud. As she was doing her homework she was telling me about her day. (For the rest of this you have to picture Grace and the way she is always talking with her hands) She says to me "Today we had to stand up in front of everyone in the class and say our whole name. Mom, I was quite nervous when I was doing this." Quite? Where did this word come from? Actually, she said it twice in the time she was talking to me, but I do not remember the other one. I was still dumbfounded from the first one. Then as I was putting her to bed, she was excitedly screeching and jumping around in her bed. She was so stinking excited to go to school tomorrow. I am so thrilled she is so happy. Thank you Lord.

Monday, September 6, 2010

'Twas the Night Before School Started

Tonight is the last night of summer for the kids. School starts in the morning. Before bed, we all gathered in the girls' room to pray. Each one said something about the school year that they would liked prayed for and then we all took turns praying for that person's prayer request. I loved watching my kids pray for their siblings - something to be treasured in a mother's heart.

Then the girls went to brush their teeth and Jacob came up to me (I was still sitting on the floor) with something (s sock monkey he made at VBS) in his pants and said "Mom, I REALLY have to go to the bathroom!" Then he went to the bathroom (where the girls were brushing), pretended to pee and then came back and said to me, "Whew. I feel better now. I really had to pee." Boys. They are something else.

As I was putting Jadyn in bed, all of a sudden she started bawling, saying her finger hurt. I checked and there was nothing wrong with her finger. What I think was happening was that her brother and sister were getting to do something that she was not - eat lunch at school - and she was acting out for attention. Earlier she told me that she was going to eat lunch at school too. I told her that she did not get to eat lunch at school until kindergarten and she was VERY sad. She asked me "Do I at least get a snack at my school?" Hello, one track mind.


Yesterday was a terrible day. Not because of anything other than my lack of faith. I hate to call it that, but if we are laying all the cards on the table - this is what it is. I feel so lost. Is it because of the loss of Greg's job? Maybe. But it has to be more. I feel like I am waiting......I say I am waiting on God's timing, but when things don't happen, I get frustrated. That is not waiting on God's timing. That is waiting on my timing and having a temper tantrum when what I want doesn't happen. OK - I don't think it is as extreme as I am painting it because I do trust God. I just apparently have not given total control to Him yet - and I thought I did. I am tired though. And mostly I am tired for Greg. He is struggling daily with not having work and just this morning I was talking to him about whether or not he is trusting God. Because to trust does not mean we put God in this nice little box and expect Him to work within our parameters. It means we trust - unabashedly, fully, totally, without limits. And we both have separate boxes that we are trying to put God in, so this is really backfiring. We are fighting more than we have in a long time and I hate this. But when I think about it, it is mostly my fault. Greg is struggling, in so many ways. It is my job to stand up by him and for him, instead of keeping him down. Instead of making him think he is in my way. Instead of treating him like a nuisance when he asks me for help. I am such a jerk. Lord, help me to be full of you and not of myself. I want to think of you first, others second and myself never. And I do not want this to be lip service.....this is what I want...really.

I've spent a lot of time "thinking" that I need to pray and talk to God. Then complaining that I don't have the time to do it. If I stopped the complaining phase and just went to the praying phase I would save myself so much time. God has never seemed nearer to me, yet I have never felt like I was in such a great drought. I need to be drenched in the Holy Spirit, soaked in Jesus's love and drowned in God's grace. I am so needy. Lord, come to me. How long, O Lord, How long??? Drench me, soak me, drown me.....I need you.

I tried to tell Greg that God could pull a job out of the woods behind us this morning. I was attempting to get him to stretch his trust. To put his faith into action. I think what it really was.....was a call to arms for me. Time to put on the armor of God and go out fighting. We are in a battle like never before. I have never felt under attack like this. The devil is working every angle he can come up with. I am so glad to say that my God is greater than anything the little he could ever do. And if my God is for me, then who could ever stop me, and if my God is with me, then what could stand against? (thank you Chris Tomlin). I can do everything through Him who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).

Saturday, September 4, 2010


So my morning quiet time started this way (all capital emphasis is mine):

Our Daily Bread
Daily Verse: The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the HEART. 1 Samuel 16:7
Daily Reading: Create in me a pure HEART, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
Devotion: Plausible Deniability - basically blaming someone or something else for your behavior. Yes, my bad attitude has been recently blamed on Greg, a lot.

Daybreak with God
Daily Verse: Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with COMPASSION, KINDNESS, HUMILITY, GENTLENESS and PATIENCE. Colossians 3:12
Devotion: My HEART for You - do I have a heart for God and the things of God? Honestly, not always.

Daily Reading in Proverbs
Above all else, guard your HEART, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

Then Grace came downstairs and sat on my lap. She said this:
"You know what I did last night and this morning? After you left my room, I prayed to God two times. I prayed that all this junk would be removed from your HEART, and it would be filled with kindness." She was talking about kindness towards her getting a dog, but really, God uses the simple to teach the wise (my paraphrase), right? In fact, I was totally floored that those EXACT words came out of her mouth. I knew in that instant that God was talking to me.

My heart needs to be changed. My heart needs to be softened. My heart needs to be filled with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and grace. Lord, I pray all these verses in Jesus' name. I claim the power of the Holy Spirit in my life. Create in me a pure heart, O God - please.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Oh so blessed....again. A friend brought us 6 garbage bags full of clothes for the girls. I absolutely love hand-me-downs! And my girls think they are great too! They loved to go through them, try them on and decide what they want.

Tomorrow I am taking a meal to a gal I have not yet met. I heard (through the grapevine) that she broke her foot and I was instantly wanting to help her. I could "feel" her pain. As I was making the dinner tonight, Jacob, Grace and Jadyn came into the kitchen and all wanted to help. Praise God that HE gave me extra patience - so much extra that we all had a great time!!! They even helped me do all the dishes. What an awesome time - talking as we worked. They were so into what we were doing and why we were doing it. That was the biggest blessing to me.

I love that God has s...l...o...w...e...d us down enough to enjoy moments like this. I also love that He has opened my eyes to see moments like this as special, and not a nuisance. Everything does not have to be perfect. I am glad that I am learning that - albeit the hard way. But, Heaven knows, I (unfortunately) learn best the hard way. Hopefully, this will change soon.

Wow ~ I just had to jump up and run to the kitchen. Jacob walked down the stairs, passed me, and into the kitchen. I was going to let him go to see what he would do, but as I was watching he walked up to the stove, pulled his pants down and looked like he was going to go to the bathroom. I had to very quickly re-direct him. What a night.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Look at what acknowledging God's name gives us - rescue, protection, presence, deliverance, honor, long life - who wouldn't want this? But notice what else it says. "I will be with him in trouble." Notice it doesn't say I will keep him from trouble. We are not guaranteed no trouble, but we are guaranteed when trouble comes He will be with us. My life right this minute is a living testimony of this. We are in a time of trouble - no job means trouble, right? But I know more than I know my own name that God is with me. He has me wrapped snugly in His arms - swinging me peacefully until He brings me to the place He wants me to be. This is a time of greatest turmoil for me, yet through it all I have not yet felt the turmoil. He has sheltered me (vs. 1) beneath his feathered wings (vs. 4) and I have not feared (vs. 5). Really. I am amazed each day at how not afraid I am. This is very certainly an uncertain time, yet I hold on to the ONLY certain thing - the love of my Heavenly Father.

I do think I am getting weary though. But what does Scripture tell me? Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matt. 11:28) Here's why I think this - actually, it's weird. My heart and mind are fixed on Christ and that God's plan for me is what is best, yet I think that maybe subconsciously I am getting depressed. I want to sleep and eat. I do not want to exercise or get dressed. That sounds like depression to me. But my head does not feel depressed. Weird, huh? I have to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and force my body to come along. I trust in the Lord with all my heart and now I need to trust with all my body. Truth be told, I think the devil is trying to get at me again. Stand strong, Michelle. Fight him hard. Put on the armour of God and fight.