I AM SO ANGRY! I hate the devil. I mean, I REALLY HATE him (insert angry eyes and spitting words) - kind of like you would picture him saying about me and my God. He is really trying to bring us down. And honestly, sometimes he is successful. This morning Greg and I set the alarm so that we could get back into a "good routine" of getting into God's Presence and exercising first thing in the morning - instead of wasting the day away in bed. As I sat this morning and read Our Daily Bread, I was so pleased to see the topic was "Ruts and Routines", which talked about setting specific times to pray, praise God, and listen for His voice. Then I read this verse:
Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Isn't that awesome? Especially on THIS morning....kind of our "re-commitment" morning. So my walk/run went well, praising the Lord all the way. I came in and told Greg that I decided that I would wait patiently for the Lord's timing. A very short while later Greg called unemployment to check to see if the letter Lear said they sent had arrived. According to the lady Greg talked to, they had not. Of course they hadn't. Trying real hard not to be angry, I kept telling Greg to talk nicely - he wouldn't get anywhere getting angry with a person who had no control over the situation. Remember you are a CHRISTian. With every word you say - you are to be like Jesus. Greg was beyond frustrated and the words I was saying were something like - Jesus said to forgive 70 times 7 - not just one or two or three times. We have to be patient. All the while I was saying this I could feel my anger brewing. I mean seething, hateful, raging anger. Then it came out in tears and swearing. Thankfully my bad words were directed at the devil, but then that just served to make him happier. I am losing this battle. Jesus......I need you to take control - take it ALL!!! Please. Greg was standing there and he told me it was OK to be sad. I told him that I was not sad, I was p@#$ed. I was so angry that we decided to get back in to the routine of starting in God's Presence and at the very first moment the stinking rotten slimy jerk of the devil stuck his disgusting fungus-filled foot in my business. And I am mad! IN THE PRECIOUS NAME AND BLOOD OF MY RISEN LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.....I COMMAND THAT YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, OUT OF MY LIFE, OUT OF MY HEAD. YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE. YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE. YOU MUST RUN, FLEE, LEAVE. NOW!
I am committed to the Lord and I have decided to wait patiently for His perfect timing. I know that His timing is not always mine, and His way is not always mine. But I also know that HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT - no matter how I feel.
Lord, please forgive my anger and my angry outburst. This did not glorify You in the least. I am sorry. I bring before you the issue of unemployment insurance. I pray in Jesus Name that you would bring resolution to this problem. Please work in the hearts and systems of each person that needs to do something. And Lord, please show us what we can do to help other people who may end up in this type of situation, because this is so wrong on so many levels. But Lord we continue to entrust our lives, hearts and souls to your very hand, your strong mighty hand. Lord, I love you. Thank you in advance for what you have planned for this very day. Praise you.
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