What is Wrong with Me?

I am trying not to be a wreck, but it is not working so well. I have gained 11.5 pounds in the last 4 days. At first when it was 5.5 on Tuesday, I thought this is not good. Then on Wednesday it was 7.5 lbs and then this morning it was 11.5 lbs. I called the doctor (I have an appointment scheduled for June) and they offered me an appointment with a doctor other than my own for tomorrow. I told them I could not do that as I have to go to GR for the wedding tomorrow, and I am going early to help set up. So we scheduled an appointment for next week Tuesday. Just after that phone call, my cousin's wife called to talk to me about wedding stuff and I was telling her my problem and she said "if you can get in to the doctor, go. This stuff will all get taken care of." So I hung up with her and called my doctor's office back. The lady on the phone put me on hold, came back and asked who my doctor was. I told her and she told me that he had just had a cancellation for today at 1:30. I started crying. The thing is we have been trying to get a physical appointment for Greg since March. Every appointment has been canceled (3X)and now he is finally scheduled for May. I was in awe of how in God's perfect timing HE opened an appointment for me with my own doctor. I am still in awe and cannot stop crying. I'll keep you posted.

Ungratefulness

I have been VERY ungrateful.

I was reading in Matthew this morning and something hit me. Matthew 6:8 says this: Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

MY Father KNOWS what I NEED BEFORE I ask (and before I even need).

I have been ungrateful for the home that the Lord has provided my family. Yes, it is not my own. But what really is? I have been longing for my own home for some time now. Some of the time you could say I have been obsessed. Longing for what I do not have, instead of being content with (and grateful for) what I do have. For shame, Michelle, for shame.

I started thinking about this home. It is a very nice home. The closets in my kid's rooms are huge. The kid's bathroom closet is beyond huge. Our closet is perfect for us. I have a large closet in my laundry room. Heck, I have a laundry room. My kids have a playroom. There is a 3 car garage - why do I complain? I have a nice, big kitchen. There is a beautiful fireplace in our great room. AND...I have the largest master bathroom I have ever had.

When it comes to housing, I have so much more to be grateful for than I do to complain about. Father, forgive my ungratefulness. Thank you for all the blessings You have provided. I know that You know what I need. I will wait upon Your perfect plan.

Easter Lesson

It wasn't until a few days ago that this hit me. And I am sad to say I didn't think of it BEFORE I had made my purchases. I guess the timing is irrelevant (except that it has all the meaning in in the world now at Easter). Every year, I (well, the EB) get the kids a SOLID chocolate bunny. Well, as it turns out, this year I got something different. I noticed that there were chocolate crosses this year. So I figured....this is what Easter is really about anyway, so I am going to get these. But then I thought my kids might somehow feel jipped if they did not get a bunny, so I got them bunnies too. Here's the cool thing though (and the thing I am going to try and make a lesson about)....the cross is solid chocolate and the bunny is hollow. Neat, huh? That is exactly the point - especially at this time of year. The cross (and, more importantly, Jesus) is what is SOLID and real. The bunny is a HOLLOW and made up confection. I just thought the irony was well, ironic.

He is Risen. He is Risen, Indeed. Praise the Lord!

Helicopter Egg Drop

I wish I could put my video in here so you could see it. So many people. We went to a helicopter egg drop today. There were 14,000 plastic eggs in 4 different sections and when the helicopter came over, it dropped another 16,000 eggs. The downside? Last night it poured and poured and poured. So the nice grassy field where this was taking place was a complete mud bog. We had mud up to our knees. But the kids had fun. And it was an awesome sight to see!! Unfortunately, for the kids, they did not win any of the BIG prizes, but the certainly won points with me and certainly in heaven. My kids were first in line (by the flags) so when the horn sounded, they were able to get quite a few eggs. When I caught up to them (after helping Jadyn and Grant) I saw a lady talking to Jacob. When I came up to them, she told me that I had very nice kids. Then she explained that her kids did not get any eggs, and Jacob and Grace had given some of their eggs to her kids. As she said this, Jacob offered her kids even more eggs. What a proud moment for this momma! The lady told Jacob that the Easter bunny would be happy and may even have a nice surprise for him. I said Jesus was happy. She didn't say anything back, though. Oh well. She heard anyway.

Boys

Jacob got an air soft gun for his birthday. Once he got better, he and Grant decided to go shooting. I think it is so stinking cute how my baby wants to be like his big brother. Well, sometimes it is not as cute. But most of the time it really is.

Jacob's 9th Birthday

Jacob's 9th birthday was spent in bed. His birthday was on Wednesday, but on Tuesday morning he woke up with a fever which lasted until Thursday afternoon. So he spent the day in bed, while I took the cupcakes up to the school so they could celebrate his birthday without him. At least he was able to have one for breakfast! Grandma and Grandpa came over for dinner (pizza, what else?) and cake. So for about an hour Jacob was out of bed. But shortly after unwrapping his presents, he was back in bed. Thankfully, Grandma and Grandpa's gift included a couple of new dvds - so he was very happy. I cannot even believe he is 9 already. Where has the time gone? Oh yeah, Krystel posted this on Facebook. So she started my day by making me cry. Sure, nice - no but really it was.
You know how people ask "Do you believe in love at first sight?" Well I do. 9 years ago today I fell in love on sight. My heart started beating really fast, tears came to my eyes. I remember it like it was yesterday. I knew I would love him forever. Happy 9th Birthday to my awesome nephew, Jacob!
I love these words.

I know it might not look like it from this picture, but Grant ALMOST bit his tongue off last night. He was standing on a laundry basket at the top of the stairs, and slipped hitting his chin on the 1/2 wall and biting his tongue. It gushed blood, so you can imagine where Dad was. We rinsed it, iced it and popsicled it, but this is what it looks like this morning. Hopefully, it will heal. I don't think you can put stitches in a tongue. Can you?

Yesterday, I had 3 pieces of good news. After processing last night (with my processor, and you know who you are), I am starting to see a little more clearly, I think.

1. I received an email from the HCS superintendent, letting me know that my children (of school age) can remain at their current school and Jadyn can join them. That was an answer to prayer, as I did not want to have my kiddos at 2 separate elementary schools.

2. Greg got the name of another guy who may want to van pool. If this guy works out, that would fill a van, so Greg could get his own van from here.

3. After taking a walk so I could have time alone with God and asking for clarity on what to do about our living situation, I came home to find an email with a mortgage approval in it.

When I looked at all these things in light of each other, I could not help but get a glimmer of hope that we may get to stay here. I am not entirely sure I want to go to Fowlerville, although I know it would be much better for Greg. But he seems to sound like he would just be happy to get his "own van" from here. Then he would be fine to stay here. The other thing is.....there are not an overabundance of houses that fit our criteria here. So, that only leads me to believe that God will provide.

I keep being told to make a list. Maybe I should?

-Hartland schools
-Close enough for Greg for work
-Large kitchen with an island where I can cook and look across at my kids as they do their homework and a pantry (I spend so much time in the kitchen)
-4 bedrooms, 2.5+ baths
-3 car garage
-Finished basement
-Large (enough) great room for family gathering
-Greg wants a paved road, I want a paved (or concrete) driveway
-Deck or patio
-Good closet space
-Nice, but not necessary is a front porch where we can sit and drink coffee and watch the sun rise

Maybe that should be it. I do not want to be greedy. I do not know what God has in store for us, but whatever it is....I know He will provide. Whether or not it is the above list or not, who knows. I am not about to test Him in this. My prayer is that whatever the situation, I will be content in everything, knowing that God has already taken care of me. He provides my daily bread and in Him alone will I trust.

Protective Baby Brother

This morning Grace was not feeling well. Grant was already in my bed and Grace came in and just laid on the floor. I went and sat next to her. She told me her legs also hurt. So I started rubbing them. She said that the rubbing was making her feel good, but every time I rubbed she would say "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Next thing I knew Grant came running at me, with his "dukes" up, saying "No hurt Gracie! Stop it, stop it now. No hurt Gracie!" I tried to explain that I was not hurting her, but rather making her feel better. He pushed his way between her and I and grabbed her leg from my hand, bent it backwards and sat on it. Oh yeah, I'm sure that made her feel MUCH better.

After questioning her at length, I found out that they ran non-stop in gym yesterday, jumping hurdles and doing jumping jacks. I guess that would make your legs hurt.

Romans 7:19-21
For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.

This is me - every day. I am getting so freaking sick of it too. Everything I want to do (and pray to do) I just seem to not be able to do. I know I am sinful. I know I am in need of saving. The interesting part is that, just now, in the shower, it really hit me. I am no good. There is hardly a bit of good in me. Oh yeah, from time to time, I do some nice things - I may even look nice. But I am not. I am a sinner - SAVED BY GRACE - THANK YOU JESUS! This was the first time (ever?) that I realized that no matter how "I" try, I will always be a sinner, full of sin. I need Jesus more at this very moment than I have ever needed Him. As I look at myself, in the light of my sin, I am sickened. I do not like what I see. And yet, despite that, God so loved ME that He gave His one and only Son, so that I could be forgiven from my sins (John 3:16 - paraphrase). As I sit here and play through my head all the things I have done (my sins), I know that this is the devil trying to win. And, frankly, I have done nothing short of let him. This stops now. I can do all thing through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13), with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) and I will over come this. I will be kind and loving and compassionate. I will not lie. I will do things that bring glory to God.

Father in Heaven, please help me.

My Attempt to Repair Ripped Knees

Jacob's 9th Birthday Party

There were 8 boys total (Jacob, Grant, Spencer, Seth, Luke, Alec, Cole and Hunter). For having that many boys, it was really quite a quiet evening. They jumped on the trampoline, played basketball, played Wii, watched "Tron", played flashlight tag, and at the moment they are building the Lego set Jacob got as a gift. The most fun (for me) was flashlight tag. We wanted to do it outside, but it had rained this morning so much that the grass was soaking and I was certain that would make for some muddy beds. So we played in the house - all 3 levels. And I think they liked it too. You can see from the last picture that the boys related to me did not make it past 11:45 pm. In fact of all the males in the house (there were 9), the 5 related to me were sleeping by 11:45 pm, but the remaining 4 were still awake. Hence the reason that I am able to post this now.....I am still up with them and it is 12:29 am. Oh well, I am glad they are having fun. I think Jacob did.

Random Pictures of My Babies

Dental Drama

Two nights ago, I asked Grace to brush her teeth. I gave her the toothbrush while she was in the shower. She barely brushed them, so I opened the door to help her. That is when the hysteria started. In fact, the drama through the whole thing was more than any words I could find to describe it. She apparently had given up on brushing her teeth and had some serious plaque build-up on her lower teeth. My attempting to help her brush them, sent her whirling into a fantasy land of dentist drills and bloody mouths. That is all I can figure because how she acted was like nothing I have EVER seen before (and I have seen drama from her). She climbed up Greg like he was a tree and she was a monkey, so that she could get away from me. All I even wanted to do was LOOK at her teeth to see how bad it was. And believe me, it was pretty bad. I mean, her teeth were not rotting out (yet), but there was so much plaque that I actually thought it was food stuck in her teeth. Suffice it to say, she was entirely spent after that episode, and so were Greg and I. Seriously, like nothing I have ever seen. Really.

Where Does the Mother Draw the Line?

Today I did something I never imagined I would have to do. I purchased, put together and fitted a jock strap and cup for Jacob. Isn't THIS something the dad should do? The funniest part was what he said. He put it on, then ran across the room (to try it out) and said, "This interrupts my running space." Of course it does, honey. He quickly followed it up with "I have the biggest wiener ever." Now that sounds like he is growing up way too fast.

Such Exciting News

I got a phone call from my brother this morning and OH, was it good! He was not even meaning to call me, but the Lord had news I needed to hear. Scott was calling the service department of the dealership and for whatever reason (God's perfect timing) that call got put on hold and his phone just called me. He was surprised to hear me on the other line. We ended up having a nice conversation, in which, I learned that he was taking his family to church, doing devotions with his wife, praying together with his wife and thinking about starting a small group with my sister and her hubby and 2 other cousins and their new wives. Oh PRAISE the LORD!!!! I am so excited about this. And the icing on the cake, the faith builder that God provided to them. They were able to get health insurance so Katie does not have to go back to work. When they found this out, Katie told Scott she was praying for an OBVIOUS sign of what to do. And PRAISE GOD again, He provided it to her. I love this so much! I have spent the remainder of this morning crying and praising God for His never-ending love. Know what's even better? This amazing love is not just for Scott and Katie.....it is for all of us. We just have to turn and receive it. It it THAT simple. Praise God for His love and for Jesus - the ONLY Way!

Our conversation also led to the legacy we are leaving for our own kids. Scott told me that something at Uncle Lawrence's funeral sparked something in him and Katie. I have a special moment in my own life of a picture of that. A couple of weeks ago (and I cannot believe that I did not blog about it - maybe I did and forgot), Grace came into my bathroom while I was getting ready. She was in a t-shirt, underwear and a bathrobe and was holding a Bible. She came in and showed me what she had just read. I asked her why she decided to read and she said, "I have not been reading lately, and I think I should." I love that, but the special moment was that she was doing exactly as she has seen me do. And not to toot my own horn, because THIS time it was something good. All glory to God forever.

The discussion about the small group has really got me thinking. Why don't I start one here? I mean with my own cousins. To gather together, talk about what God is doing in our lives, hold each other up in prayer and hold each other accountable. I really want to do this. BUT I am going to pray about it. I am so tired of just forging ahead with what I want to do, and only thinking later of whether or not it was what God wanted me to do. I'll keep you posted, as He keeps me posted.

Off to Spanish class. The kids are on spring break this week and I have them taking a mini Spanish class at the library. Should be fun.