Here I am back on that treadmill again. The worry one. Today I learned more than I want to. So, I am sitting here (trying to work) crying, asking God why He made me this way if I cannot do anything about it. Why does this concern me so much? Why am I internalizing it? Here I am on the quest for knowledge, just like Eve in the garden. Look where her quest ended all of us......I keep feeling like God is saying "Be still, and know that I AM." I know YOU ARE. My heart hurts though. I also know that You are the Only One who can fix it. I want to lay this down and NOT pick it up ever again.
Know what else? All I want to do is talk to someone - anyone. Know what? NO ONE is answering their phones, or if they do they cannot talk. Another flashing sign that God wants me to talk to Him. I just want to hear His Voice. (Bawling now) As I typed the last sentence the song "Speak to Me" came on the radio.
Speak to me, please speak to me,
I'm in between but I can't hear you
Whisper, shout it, give me something
I need it now, need your voice, need a sound
Speak to me.
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